Dating someone different from you
hen it comes to dating, you’ve probably witnessed your close friends and family unanimously agree that finding a partner exactly like you will bring long-term happiness and success in the relationship.While having a few common interests and basic outlook on life is important, dating someone too similar to yourself could lead to stagnancy, boredom, and dissatisfaction down the road. Having the same likes and dislikes, the same quirks, same hobbies, exact same personality, taste in food…you would eventually feel trapped and complacent, and would likely seek someone who complemented you rather than mirrored you.So what is the potential allure to someone very different than ourselves, and what are the dangers and potential benefits of being with someone totally different from ourselves?From my own personal experience, I can tell you being with someone that is your opposite can be a challenging and highly rewarding experience for both people.But my relationship is awesome because he has brought so many unexpected things to my life — things that my fake/dream boyfriend wouldn’t have been able to provide me with. And now, I can’t believe I ever wanted anyone anything like me. Your SO might even say things about you that you’ve never thought about before, like, “you are late”, “you only eat cheese” or “you look nice in short skirts”.Do you remember that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry dates Janeane Garofalo for like 5 minutes? Sometimes these things can be shocking to hear — “you drink every night! And your SO is still dating you, so they obviously don’t think it’s a huge deal. And we all know that our friends are sometimes our cheerleaders to a fault — their viewpoints are either extremely similar to ours, or they might just be going along with what we’re saying to keep things harmonious. I am not being sarcastic.) Your opposite will have very opposite problems than you do, and you will see the other side.
Someone different from us also peaks our curiosity, or rather, it challenges us to learn something new, and challenge inherently awakens a primal urge to figure things out over time.There’s just one big thing I can’t seem to grasp: Is there a difference between compatibility and commonalities?I’ve recently become interested in the artistic, sensitive type men.We’ve talked about “perfect boyfriend/girlfriend checklists” before, because they’re something that we pretty much all have, whether we physically write them down or not. And you’ll learn about yourself and get some new tunes, and all of this stuff, too! If you’re in a relationship, I’d love to hear what was on YOUR “checklist”, and how that compared to what you actually ended up with.Even an open-minded person is probably holding onto some idea that they whipped together in childhood about the kind of person they imagined being with forever. There might be in the universe who exists like that. And if you’re single, I’d love to hear what is on your list, too!